I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I booty called her while she was in labor.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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