if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
