I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
