what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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