Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
