friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
