goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
