i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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