She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
All I want is dick and wine.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
