I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
