you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
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