omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
