I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
