So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
