If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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