the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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