Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
