Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
