Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body

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(212): View more from New York

She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.

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(425): View more from Washington

my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.

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(352): View more from Florida

the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.

(407): View more from Florida

given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was

(352): View more from Florida

i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it

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(281): View more from Texas

my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family

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(260): View more from Indiana

you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.

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(817): View more from Texas

...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"

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