Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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