Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
