oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
