Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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