Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
handjob tips. give me some.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
