oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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