You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
