My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
