rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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