your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
