4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
