hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
