when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
