you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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