That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
