TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
