Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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