Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
