Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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