Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
