is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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