I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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