it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
