Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
