Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
