so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
