you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize