Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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