there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
