No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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