he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
