To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
