Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
