Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
