Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize