So drunk its hurt
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
