i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
