Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
