Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
